The Loss that Floods Your Mind with Memories

We were piled in the bed this morning finishing school and working on the computer. I had gotten up to grab something from the other room. When I returned she was breathless, head buried into my pillow and unable to speak. I quickly ask my baby girl what was wrong when she said that my best friend had text me.  Unable to understand I read the text which told of a mutual friend's husband passing away this morning.

We have waited for this call. The suffering and treatments have continued for years. As true fighting fashion though the bounce back would happen and life would continue. A few weeks ago though my friend shared her husband had fallen and had to be put in a nursing home for recovery. She hinted that he might not come home and to pray for the girls.

Their baby and mine have been friends since preschool. We have not missed birthday parties and attended church camp together every year. I feel that I have been trying to prepare my little girl for the moment her friend's Dad would no longer live on this earth forever, but when that text came I realized how unprepared we were.

As I held my baby and prayed for our friends, my mind flooded back to the day that numbness overcame me. I had just returned from a wonderful weekend introducing my boyfriend to my family. He and I had taken the long way back to college stopping  by to visit old family friends of his. I distinctly remember us commenting on the oddness of the sky as we drove the 2 1/2 hours across the Delta towards Starkville.

We arrived  home and I ran inside with my basket of clean laundry that I dropped on the floor so I could call to report my safe arrival to Mama (my usual post drive home call- oh the days before the cell phone that is everywhere with you). I dialed my home and my Mama's best friend answered the phone. This was odd because she might be at our home, but didn't really answer our phone. Mama spoke and the numbing words fell all over me. "Your Dad had a heart attack"-Mama "He is going to be fine, right???"-Me "No Sweetie, He didn't make it."

Those words spoken to me by my Mother 23 years ago changed my whole life. I was 20 years old and I know the things that I have missed and longed for as a daughter without an earthly Father. My daughter's friend is 11 and her sister 15. How my heart breaks for them tonight as I recall them being picked up at school to be told their Dad is no longer living.

I hugged both girls today. I shared that I understood it hurt. I told them we could get together and talk.  I would listen because even though I don't have my Daddy (his heart broke) their Daddy was lost to the horribleness of cancer. Our stories are different, but we are daughters without Daddies tonight.

My prayer for these precious girls and my friend is that they feel the cradling of the arms of Jesus the ultimate Daddy. May they find comfort in friends and stories these next few days. And Mr. Chuck say "hi" to George Trippe-my Daddy.