Buckets of Tears

I've thought all day...as I shop for groceries and fold clothes...the mundane. I ran into a friend who lost his wife 6 months ago to lung cancer. He shared how he is moving on. He explained the grace of God to bring healing of their relationship through her dying.  In my trying to roughly grasp his aching heart, I shared how my Mom felt when she lost my Dad. Lost my Dad....wait that was yesterday, no wait that was today. The mundane had taken over. I had let it slip up. Twenty years ago today, my Daddy went to live in heaven with his. My heart ached then and does today.  I feel my bucket beginning to fill ...it started when my friend shared his aches, the filling was deeper when I realized my forgetfulness. I have reflected since that discussion about my Daddy. Philip even asked me today what I thought he would look like at 68. Well, I have no idea because his Dad's life was cut short as well. I do know that he would love his 6 grandchildren. He would be chasing them from soccer, to cross country, to ballgames, to school programs. He and George and Trippe would be hunting ducks and golf balls.  My bucket fills even deeper as another friend text of the death of her Father-in-Law. Philip found his cancer just a month ago. How our hearts have ached for them. Death can fill a bucket full of tears.  We ache because we are  left behind. We ache because we miss life with the ones we love. We ache because of what those loved ones will miss out on in our lives.  Our hearts break and spill out into our buckets with tears. I ache because today I got caught in the mundane. My joy bucket is still half full today...half joy...half tears.