Contemplating the Sting of Words

As I sit with coffee and computer this morning, I reflect on a conversation I have been having for weeks with a new friend. What makes others feel the need to tell our stuff? You know the age old gossip struggle.

My friend has walked a road of bad choices in her recent past. She is beginning to open herself up to God and the chance at new life. The hurtful words of others begin to sting. The efforts to improve life for herself seem worth nothing.

God is doing a new thing in her. All I can do is continue to point her towards that truth. I am still so haunted by that thought about others opinions of our choices.

Is it the age of social media that gives us the bravery to post things that cut? Is it insecurity with ourselves that leads us to tell others things shared in secret by a friend? Are we really superior when others mistakes show up bigger than ours? Are we willing to lose a lifetime of friendship for a word about someone that will turn them away once they know we have spoken it?

I hurt for my friend. She is trying so hard to make her new life work. She is digging into the word, attending church and making efforts to make the most of her situation. I am so proud of her. I tell her often. Sometimes though the cutting words of others scream louder in her ears.

I know that Romans 8:1  says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus".  As I think on this verse though, I wonder what to do for my friend who feels the world around her is condemning her. I remind her that no one can judge her actions except God Himself. 

Join me in praying for people today who feel the condemnation of others. May the TRUTH of God be heard louder than any small piece of gossip  today.

Real Life Healing

I have done it. I spent my most of my thirties in a fog. I was raising four children which I had no idea at the time that it is a tough job. I say often that I survived, but  really-I did. I had made this fictional idea of what life was to look like (insert Martha Stewart) and I had added my own christian twist to it.  But I was missing something. 

The late thirties hit and  I began to realize I longed for friendship -true friendship. I had people that I did things with because of the groups my kids put us in, but  I longed for a mentor. 

I began to be wrapped in this life of pain. One that I had no idea what was truly happening to me. Because of that physical pain I retreated into a year of solitude. It was a more lonely place than I had even felt before-one that lead me to a walk of light and hope. I would wrap my painful self in a blanket and read His word. I began to read the words of other women. I began to open up to a place of healing. I began to respond to those women and find friendship.

This year of healing -soul healing- lead me to discovery. I discovered places I loved to serve. The places I loved to serve became life giving which caused me to be open to relationship. Relationship taught me even more about the healing of my soul. 

Are there still places that are raw? Yes, the quick word or judgement from just the right person can send my soul bleeding and in retreat mode. But I go back to the Truth and find comfort in my chair then I am restored enough to move out again.

So my forties are a new place, a place of community where I can minister to the young mama's like I had so longed for in my younger days. It has lead me community where I serve and become involved in the areas that are life-giving. I still find comfort and restoration from my friends behind the screen, but I am becoming more open to in-real-life community.

I guard my heart from all the hurtful words and actions that might come my way, but I am learning to love in community. To find real relationship that leads me to Him. The healing found in retreat is beautiful. I manage the physical, I find comfort in the Word for the mental, and I find hope in the spirit of others that leads me deeper in my walk. 

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Maximizing My Mornings

It is that time again...today ended the Winter Challenge with the Hello Mornings group. It also began the registration for the Summer Challenge. You might be asking what is Hello Mornings and how are you maximizing your mornings.

So glad that you asked- Hello Mornings is a group of women gathering all over the world to wake up before our families and spend quiet time alone with the Lord. We don't wake up to our kids, but to our Lord. This step alone maximizes the morning. There are several women who add the next component of exercising to so that they are their best physically. Basically we are accountable to one another for our morning time. 

My group happens to be on twitter. Several groups meet privately on Facebook. Check this out http://register.hellomornings.org/ 

Join us for the Summer and have the best Summer with your kids!

The Loss that Floods Your Mind with Memories

We were piled in the bed this morning finishing school and working on the computer. I had gotten up to grab something from the other room. When I returned she was breathless, head buried into my pillow and unable to speak. I quickly ask my baby girl what was wrong when she said that my best friend had text me.  Unable to understand I read the text which told of a mutual friend's husband passing away this morning.

We have waited for this call. The suffering and treatments have continued for years. As true fighting fashion though the bounce back would happen and life would continue. A few weeks ago though my friend shared her husband had fallen and had to be put in a nursing home for recovery. She hinted that he might not come home and to pray for the girls.

Their baby and mine have been friends since preschool. We have not missed birthday parties and attended church camp together every year. I feel that I have been trying to prepare my little girl for the moment her friend's Dad would no longer live on this earth forever, but when that text came I realized how unprepared we were.

As I held my baby and prayed for our friends, my mind flooded back to the day that numbness overcame me. I had just returned from a wonderful weekend introducing my boyfriend to my family. He and I had taken the long way back to college stopping  by to visit old family friends of his. I distinctly remember us commenting on the oddness of the sky as we drove the 2 1/2 hours across the Delta towards Starkville.

We arrived  home and I ran inside with my basket of clean laundry that I dropped on the floor so I could call to report my safe arrival to Mama (my usual post drive home call- oh the days before the cell phone that is everywhere with you). I dialed my home and my Mama's best friend answered the phone. This was odd because she might be at our home, but didn't really answer our phone. Mama spoke and the numbing words fell all over me. "Your Dad had a heart attack"-Mama "He is going to be fine, right???"-Me "No Sweetie, He didn't make it."

Those words spoken to me by my Mother 23 years ago changed my whole life. I was 20 years old and I know the things that I have missed and longed for as a daughter without an earthly Father. My daughter's friend is 11 and her sister 15. How my heart breaks for them tonight as I recall them being picked up at school to be told their Dad is no longer living.

I hugged both girls today. I shared that I understood it hurt. I told them we could get together and talk.  I would listen because even though I don't have my Daddy (his heart broke) their Daddy was lost to the horribleness of cancer. Our stories are different, but we are daughters without Daddies tonight.

My prayer for these precious girls and my friend is that they feel the cradling of the arms of Jesus the ultimate Daddy. May they find comfort in friends and stories these next few days. And Mr. Chuck say "hi" to George Trippe-my Daddy.

Returning from A Long Bloggy Break....

I have been off discovering myself...
               finding a cure for fibromyalgia.....
                            searching for world peace................
                                         raising multi-millions to end poverty................

Ok, so you don't really buy all that either. I have been on a vacation of sorts. Summer, kids, home, vacation, school starting, being PTO President, volunteering at the local crisis pregnancy center, cross country season, soccer season, friends having babies (I've been to many baby showers for a 40ish year old woman), changing fibro meds (I don't recommend unless guaranteed a cure), oh you name it...I have been about doing it.

For a fibro sufferer, just reading all of that makes me need a nap. I have been living a very busy, busy summer and fall. I fully intended everyday to sit and tell the world-wide-anybody all about it, but I've been too busy living it. (then sleeping in-between).

I have been on a spiritual journey of sorts. I know that this part will flesh itself out in upcoming post. I am doing three things this Fall spiritually that really excite me. One, I am tweeting with a group of ladies who are holding one another accountable in our morning routines. It is nice to know there are other women out there trying to juggle it all and keep their relationship with God first.

 http://donotdepart.com/abiding-fruit

Second, I am following several of these ladies in a study of Abiding Fruit. We take a section of scripture and slowly walk through it for the week. I have seen God's word in a new way with very familiar verses. Well, finally, these ladies have led me to challenge number 3...memorizing Romans 8.

 We are changing the "ME" into "HE". We are Hiding His Word in our hearts. I have been walking with Beth Moore and her Siestas through memorizing 24 scriptures in 2011, but memorizing a whole chapter seems to be a challenge for me.

I am so excited to see what God has planned over the next several months through the journey. I planning on sharing it all right here.

Third, I am meeting with local friends who are holding one another accountable. God gives us friends for different seasons. These ladies you would never put together on any other occasion, but God knows what we need. He knows where we need sharpening and who can help us do that.

I plan to get back into the saddle with this bloggy business. Just don't dock my pay if I continue to take breaks-I'm a work in progress.

Unplanned Frienship

Last year, my pastor asked for volunteers from a weekly men's leadership group. This wasn't really then men he was asking to help, but their wives. My dear, sweet husband eagerly heard the request and thought maybe I would love to volunteer. The job was mentoring a women in our church. I felt so unqualified. (no don't go telling me about God's gifts,and all that-my husband did already). I quickly told him never to volunteer my name again.

I then began to pray and consult wise counsel. (a woman in another church community that mentors women). I felt so out of touch with this woman. Our connection was we knew one another from childhood. We were raised differently, we lived differently and I just assumed that I would never have a thing in common with her. (not a better than...just a different) Before I even prayed  much about this, this woman called. See that is her personality...Do it! We planned lunch. I prayed and called my wise friend. Both of these were leading me to pursue this relationship. Our lunch came and we enjoyed each other so that we planned another lunch.

It is almost a year and a half later, I should be getting dressed because it is time for lunch with my mentoring friend. See God's plan is so much bigger than we can even realize. My new friend is very different from me, but also we are very much a like. We are both hungering for  a deeper relationship with God. We both long to have families who love Him more. What a blessing!

Our families have even become closer. Her children are younger than ours, but we enjoy one anothers company. They have become like family.  Our Daddy's were best friends; though mine has gone on to Heaven, I realize what God began years ago is still working out in our lives.

I am so grateful for a God who sees beyond my finite mind. A God who knows me better than I know myself. A God who was, who is and who is yet to be! A God who longs to draw us toward Himself through friendship. Thank you, God, for unplanned friendship!

Gifts List # 466-499

*joy of folding/washing clothes for family
*quietness of Mondays
* rain that cancels one activity so less running
*beauty of flowers blooming
*quiet time with God
*girls who seek help and the opportunity to provide it
*kids who voice their opinions
*Godly Principals
*family dinner at home
*new mulch and flowers
*lunch with a new friend who encourages
* opportunity to help kids who need it
*new Bible study with old friends
*opportunity to help my sister
*time with niece and nephew
*a husband who will drive after work to get my niece and nephew
*new tires
*brother-in-law whose heart is OK
*lunch with Wynn and cousins
*opportunity to pour love and Jesus into niece and nephew
*time at the park
*husband who takes kids for fun-indoor swimming
*a day with friends and kids outside
*time for us while Dad is working- that is distracted and busy
*returning niece and nephew safely
* time with kids watching basketball
* sleeping late
*time alone with Philip
*hope in message at church
*kids enjoying time outside with each other
*spring
*small group and lessons that make us think and grow
*Drs. who go the extra mile when they don't have to